Wordpress just ate the last two postings I made because sometimes it is a pile of unadulterated shit. Unfortunately it is the best pile of unadulterated shit I have so I will have to live with it. I swear if I see that “Do you really want to edit this post?” message which I have no idea why appears when I hit Publish, too many more times… I will delete the bloody lot.

Baaaah!

It is 7.30am and I have just realised that I didn’t post that I was going to bed a few hours ago at just after 4am. Now I am a Master Blogger I realise that it is vital that I record such events with accuracy so I am feeling pretty crappy about all of this. As it happened, I just went to bed and read Sue Townsend’s “Ghost Children” but admitting that makes me realise that now I will have to write a review of it; quote endlessley from it and all that sort of thing.

All I can say is that it is jolly hard work being a blogger, I am amazed that us Master Bloggers have time for anything else at all!

It is now 7.37 and I am going to have scrambled eggs for breakfast.

I am learning about “blogging” so that I can become a blog expert; after all, that’s why I started this isn’t it? Well ok, it’s not but that’s beside the point.

See, I had a problem, when I went to bed last night, was I meant to report this in my blog so that my 2 avid readers would know I had gone? Was I meant to report my getting up in the morning too? I could have used my mobile phone to report that I had finished reading my book in bed, and was about to go to sleep although that would have annoyed the cat since I would have had to move to find the phone.

It seems that a lot of people now have voice blogs. These sound fun, exciting and useful if I am going to be duty bound to report every time I visit the toilet, I can just phone from the loo and leave the entry then and there instead of reporting it later. Always being one to adopt new technology face on I looked up these voice logs and found this fascinating article. It seems that voice blogging is bad because you have to listen to everything and that is boring - Text bloggers are more interesting and don’t ramble as much so that is ok. I get a little bit confused in this article that they seem to be using the phrase “Voice Blogging” to mean talking. They report going round to some old person’s house who then “voice blogged” at them for ages, over tea and they didn’t like that; apparently they would have preferred him to write it all down so that they could read it in their own time and skip all the boring bits that they weren’t interested in. See! Aren’t blogs amazing, they save all that pointless listening. I am amazed I didn’t take them up so much earlier.

Never fear though people. I am learning! And don’t worry, I won’t be taking up voice blogging, I wouldn’t want to waste your time. I shall write about my ablutions in long hand, like all the rest of the cool bloggers do.

I am currently trying to buy a car in Canadia. I don’t want anything special, I don’t want to pay much, I just need something solid that will work well for a few weeks. Unfortunately, it has to be a big chunky 4*4; not for cosmetic reasons but because I need to be in the middle of nowhere in places with no roads in the middle of winter in Canadia.

The European in me is getting more and more distressed. I never really saw myself as a major environmentalist - My view on Global Warming is that if I get rasberries in December and Holland becomes one big swimming pool then that is a generally good thing. The problem is that I am opposed to very literally burning money which I don’t have and wasting fuel the planet is running out of. Is it too much to ask for fuel consumption figures to be posted with car reviews? Is it possible to get fuel consumption figures without digging through tonnes and tonnes of data hidden away in the digital equivalent of a hay-barn? Ha! Is it buggery!

What I find odd is that North Americans have started complaining about the cost of petrol nowadays and with fuel in Canadia at just under a dollar a litre you’d think they’d start to want to know how much of it their 1997 Chevrolet Tahoe LTs are drinking on an average drive from the Lumberjackery to Tim Hortons and back (11 miles per gallon is the best figure I can get, though that is probably US gallons, and I think they are smaller than real ones).

If you are ever bored one day go to a US or Canadian car sales site, have a look for a few cheap cars and then set yourself the task of working out which you should buy in terms of how much fuel they waste. Remember! You can’t use the European figures most of the time because the American ones tend to come with different engine configurations with especially big fuel burning bits. It’s fun, I promise you!

For the record, Tesco Finest Creamy Fish Pies are lovely if you ignore the fact that they are overly padded out with rather boringly tasteless salmon.

Well I finally gave in and got my hair chopped off. It was nice seeing it go all curly but it started to bug me by getting in my eyes. It had to go but now my neck and ears are cold. Grumble.

Well Sherrie has a book page, so I thought I would too. Of course, that means I will probably never get around to filling it in but I started out with good intentions.

It struck me; whilst sitting here munching on some lovely thick buttered toast with Blue Wensleydale on it, and sipping on one of Douwe Egbert’s new squeezy breast like coffee pod contraptions that much as I don’t like weblogs, I do tend to spend a lot of time talking about food. I am perfectly happy to talk to myself about food so by no means do I expect anyone else to read this. It’s here for me; for when I am hungry; for when I get the urge to go out and buy some more of these revolting coffee things and for me to type in whilst I am waiting for the Cornish Pastie in the oven that I mistimed the heating of. Since I only seem to be able to update it with comments, then it shall be so.

Eat, Drink and be Merry; for tomorrow I get bored of this blog!

Well… Chavez is back as president of Venezuela, Pinochet is still on his deathbed and Britain is still a nuclear power.

Kofi Annan is still saying that Iraq and a mess, and he wishes he’d done more and Hezbollah is still causing trouble in Lebanon (which oddly, is no longer called The Lebanon). America is still torturing people in prison camps and holding show trials, the British government and security services are alienating Muslim communities just when they need their co-operation most, trains are not running because there is “too much dust” and gyppos are still nicking copper wire from train tracks and electricity substations.

I guess everything is back to 21st Century normal after the little aside of the last couple of weeks; that seems something of a shame. It was fun for a while anyway.

I just received an email out of the blue which somewhat surprised me.

I think it is possibly the writer’s equivalent of a Hendrix fan receiving a mail saying “I was Jimmi’s assistant for 18 years and have his favourite guitar still. Do you want it?”. In my case, it wasn’t Hendrix, it was Sir William Connor (Cassandra) and it wasn’t a guitar, it was his “Tripewriter” on which he penned most of his articles.

Anyone who knows me well will know that Cassandra was my biggest influence in writing and indeed, in quite a lot more so it is a fair thing to say I am quite pleased about this. Although it has reminded me that I am really not making much progress on the biography of him that I was mean to be writing. We’ll gloss over that for now though, won’t we?