Michael’s Secret for Success and Power.
After long and careful study of the world in general I have finally identified a foolproof one step plan for fame, fortune, success, power and wealth beyond your wildest dreams.
I realise I could sell my success formula for an absolute fortune but frankly, that would be hard work and I can’t be arsed so, in this one time exclusive offer, I am prepared to offer my secret for free.
My secret is simple, all you have to do is to change your middle name to “the”.
Think of it - Throughout history anyone who has ever had the middle name “the” has been a great success and if you don’t believe me ask Ivan the Dread, Vlad the Impaler, Erik the Memorable, Magnus the Law-Mender, Conan the Barbarian and his chum Conan the Crooked, William the Conquerer, Edward the Confessor, Henry the Rich, Ulrich the Beloved, Pliny the Elder, Pitt the Younger, Martin the Humane, Ernest the Iron, Robert the Magnificent, Lorenzo the Magnificent, John the Perfect Prince, Canute the Great, Fulk the Surly, Aethelred the Unready, Albert the Great or Canute the Great.
Aint it great? I am right… You know I am right so there. Just remember when you are rich and famous it was all my doing and send me some cash. Thank you.
Back in the days of the Essex Muds, when I ruled your Internets, there used to be a joke amongst the players that roughly went
“What is Lorry’s middle name?”
…
“The”!
Yea, I know, it wasn’t funny 18 years ago either but I do wonder if the same joke was around 2,000 years ago.
“I am just writing the Obitiary of this daft bugger Pliny who just got himself killed in a Volcano. Do you know is middle name?”
…
“The”!
I wanted to translate that into Latin, but Giles tells me there is no such word for “the” in Latin, No wonder that Language died, crappy bloody language.
Ho ho ho!
Oooh, see! Look at this lot!
http://www.textfiles.com/rpg/rulers.txt